Self-love
Recently a friend asked me about my journey to self love. I told her definitively, “Yes, I love myself completely.” How do I get there,” she'd wanted to know. Again I answered definitively, “You discover self love in your shadow lands.”
Shadow Lands:
Fear, jealousy, vindictiveness, shame, anger, hatred, judgment, apathy, despair, helplessness, violent thoughts – to name a few. They are an inevitable part of the human experience. Do you judge yourself for breathing air? Are you disgusting because you poop? Do you try to transform your body's need for food and water?
Self Love:
I experience self love as acceptance. I accept all of myself - The good, The bad, The ugly, and even … The unmentionable. I don't pick and choose which parts of myself to love and which parts of myself to hate or to try to destroy/hide/push away. I love and accept all of myself.
Easy peasy, right? Well… Discovering self love is a slow and on-going process, and it takes commitment.
You can start with these few practices:
Commit to play with these practices for at least 1 month and see what happens.
1. When you critique yourself, follow it up by recognizing a strength you have in the same moment.
It's okay to repeat strengths … I promise you, you repeat critiques.
2. Compliment yourself out loud and in public.
I double dog dare you!
3. While you're brushing your teeth at night, create a mental list of 10 things that you did well/were proud of for that day.
Whenever a critique pops into your mind, shush it out loud.
4. Write yourself a love letter.
We've all experienced wearing rose colored glasses when we first fall in love with someone else. Write a letter to yourself from that perspective.
More Questions:
Were these practices easy or hard for you?
How did your resistance show up?
What were your reactions to these practices?
What did you learn about yourself?
